Whatever Works

Sadly, not this.

I think the charm of the misanthropy has finally worn off--at least on me. I saw Woody Allen's latest, Whatever Works, tonight at the Angelika. I fell asleep about a half hour in and stayed drifting off for another 20-30 minutes.

Sidenote, I see a lot of movies. I'm not ashamed to admit that I fall asleep here and there, and depending on what else I'm doing, often. For instance, somebody asked me what I thought of Cold Souls, a film I saw on the second to last day of Sundance. I don't really know what I thought of it because it was slow and I don't remember anything that happened past about the 40 minute mark. I don't fall asleep when I really love it though.

Anyway, I saw the unavoidable Woody Allen-Larry David collabo tonight and was very disappointed. It reminded me more of Anything Else and Melinda and Melinda much more than any of his early works. I had heard that this was a call back to old school Woody, but I don't think so. I guess one could argue that the whole talking to the camera post-modern thing is there from Annie Hall, in addition to the general structure of the story of a relationship bound neither by classical narrative structure nor even linear storytelling. The other similarities I can think of might go into his more satirical and slapstick work like Bananas and Love and Death, however, I really think that any similarities to those films are by accident i.e. when the acting is at its worst, really misinterpreting what the scenes should have been.

Storytelling

This is another article I wrote for KiptonART as well as Moviehatch, I've since made some minor changes.

I’ve written a few articles for KiptonArt’s website, but given that this is the first that will appear in the magazine, I feel I should introduce myself once more. I’m a 24-year-old filmmaker from New York. Well, I’d say aspiring. I believe that one should not call oneself something like “filmmaker” unless one is both making a solid living doing so, and other successful filmmakers acknowledge you as an equal, not necessarily in that order. I think I’m on my way there, but not quite ready to be on the level of those who I admire.

On the same topic, people do ask me what I do though, and I find I do not like to say I write, or direct, or produce specifically. I think of each of those tasks, and the others I perform, as all part of the creative filmmaking process.

Moon by Walker Griffy

So today I'm going to post an article written by a friend of mine, Walker Griffy. Walker's mainly going to be writing here because he's handsome, but hopefully literate as well. I met Walker originally during a screenwriting course at UCLA when we were 16 or so. It was magic. Walker's still in LA and currently working on his first novel. He's totally looking for some help from people in the publishing world, so if you're on or you know one, hit one of us up or comment. When Walker discusses my optimism in this introduction below, I think he refers to my liking Transformers, for which I'll post an article this coming week.

Surveillance

Tonight I watched Surveillance, the latest release in what we'll call the ongoing experiment of DVD, On Demand and TV simultaneous releases. In order to bypass the fees, I DVR'd the film from Mark Cuban's HDNet. I'll be honest and say that I'm not all too interested in this stuff, so I'll save that discussion for the time when I become interested in it. I will say that I like it though. Options are better. Giving us more ways to watch movies makes more people watch movies, which is very important. Giving us different price points also helps a lot, especially when there is the option for those who follow the release dates to watch it for free. I honestly don't know anyone else who does that though, rather people wait to read the reviews and order it On Demand for seven dollars.



So this entry was the first film from Jennifer Lynch (spawn of David Lynch, the dude with major fear of fatherhood issues, i.e. Eraserhead) in fifteen years. Her last was Boxing Helena, yeah the one where the weirdo puts the girl in a box and then cuts off all her limbs for the ultimate form of possession. There was a twist in that film that really didn't affect the actual narrative at all, but rather just negated it completely. It spun it in a direction that was more of a cop out than anything else. The twist allowed Lynch to not have to explain or resolve the convoluted plot she got herself into.

Casting: Names vs. Talent and Going with Your Gut

Here is an article I wrote for KiptonART. You can get those at www.kiptonart.com/magazine.

So I've been doing some casting lately. It's fun. I love talking to actors. For whatever reason, thankfully, I've managed to stick to meeting with only some classy folks. It goes without saying that I'm looking to cast based on two qualities: Who fits the role best and who's the name that will get the most eyes on my film.

This all makes me think back to sophomore year in high school. Have you ever heard somebody say that the biz is like high school? A popularity contest?






















Shane Tela was a girl (yes, a girl named Shane, straight out of a Johnny Cash song, right?) who started at my school freshman year. I went to a really snobby Upper East Side school that was bad, but not like it’s portrayed on Gossip Girl. Shaney was a half-Black, half-White downtown import. I don't remember much about Shaney (I call her Shaney, she calls me Seany, it’s really cute, trust me) from freshman year though. That year, the new girls who got all the attention were two who made close friends with popular girls right out of the gate—one presumably because she came from a pedigree of cool people, the other because her Brother was a cool senior that year (both of these girls later redeemed themselves and turned out fantastic). Shaney was pretty but nobody noticed because we were too busy gossiping over who was going to date the other two hot freshman noobs (discussions were moot, as they ended up dating older guys, a guy in a band and a jock, right away), and Shaney never made herself look nice for school. It wasn't until sophomore year that I really made friends with Shane.

Marvelous Hot Steak

For explanation of title, listen to Ghostface Killah's "Wildflower." Lyrics below. Please read "Introduction" also, the post before it.


















That was the best fuckin I ever had.
That's because you been dealin with Dasheese
You gotta leave? Where you goin sugar?
I got business to take care of
[Ghostface]: No shit.
Shit that's my old man, shit!
Ya better go talk to him

[Ghostface]
No smokin alarms [8X]

I'm mind shockin, body rockin, earth shakin, money makin
Sittin high, lookin fly, drinkin on the best wine...

[Ghostface]
Yo bitch I fucked your friend, yeah you stank hoe
I seen her on the elevator, honey grabbed my Kangol
She put me on to mega-shit, bout to slap the bitch
She shot crazy verbal, I leaned back like I'm rich
It took place late night on February 17th
Hands flooded like ink, my face on her magazine
Just got back from Honolulu, pockets stackin boucoup cash
Girlfriend sipped the Yoo-hoo and laughed, yo
While I was on tour, whore, you went to work
Quick fast, had a nigga dick in the dirt
You couldn't wait just to kidnap the bait of my sperm
Where's you at, hoe? 'Pinky house, she put in my perm'
That's all you ever said to me, thought that could hold me
Remember when I long-dicked you and broke your ovary?
You crab bitch, chickenhead hoe, eatin' heros
I'm the first nigga that had you watchin flicks by DeNiro
You gained crazy points, baby, just bein with God
Taught you how to eat the right foods, fast, and don't eat lard
I gave you earth lessons, I came to you as a blessin
You didn't do the knowledge what the God was manifestin
You sneaky fuck bitch, your ways and actions told it all
I fucked you while you was bleedin, held you down in malls
Sexually you worshipped my di-dick like a cross
I had you fiend out, broke out, for a month you fell off
You was my main shit, my peeps showed you love on the strength
You saw how I got down, the way I thought had you tranked
But you had to fuck this rasta-head ass nigga
I shoulda slapped ya but the Gods said chilllllllll
That's your wiz fault, god, handle that in the lab"
I'm wonderin how many times your hot ass got stabbed
You dumb bitch, horny hot fuck from out the mountains
Your clientele is low hoe, catch you next show, bro
I got jerked, gave away my pussy, that shit hurt
It feel like somebody died or shot your old Earth
But fuck it, I fucked you on a chair with three legs
Broken tables, had you screamin while you was bitin on my cables
Whistlin to the washing machine, I threw it on spin
If your pussy dry, spit on my dick and put it in
My dick's the bomb baby, marvelous hot steak
Plus I'm conceited Starks make the biggest so-called rape
I'm God, cipher divine love my pussy real fine
That means clean the FDS smell with a shine
Word up, respect that hoe

Introduction

Friends,
First, let me say I dig this font.

Second, let me dedicate this entire website to my favorite actor and humanitarian, Rick Ducommon. If you don't know him, stop reading and go watch The 'Burbs. Then watch Groundhog Day.

Ok, now you're back.

Hey.

How's it going?

How about that Bruce Dern?!?! Isn't he hilarious? And did you think that the Clopecks were going to be good or bad in the end? I was surprised. That's in my top 10 best movies ever by the way. If you don't dig The 'Burbs just get out of here. If you don't know who the Clopecks are, then you didn't watch the movie, and you're an asshole and I don't want you reading this. I should password protect it with some even more obscure reference to the movie.

Anyway, if you're still reading, then you must like The 'Burbs. That's awesome.

I like you.

A lot.

Well, let's get down to it. I'm Sean. As of this keystoke I'm 24 years old. I grew up in New York, moved to Boston for college, and then back to NY for good after. I like movies, I'm doing all I can to make a career out of those feelings. I find myself far too often feeling disinterested in conversations with people who don't like movies. Well actually it's not that. I don't care what you think of movies, as long as we're just talking about movies, and nothing else.

I don't want to talk about finance.

Or wars. Or who makes the best burger in Manhattan (J.G. Melon's). Or facebook and twitter.

Back to finance. I think it's really boring. I admit to having some friends who work in finance, but news guys--I probably like you less than my other friends.

I will want to talk to you more if we talk about movies, but I judge your opinions as stupid beyond the point of different tastes, then I will think less of you. I don't like when people speak of judging as a bad thing because judging is inherent to thinking and if one does not judge that just means they do not form opinions. One should only be criticized for judging when they formulate said judgment without the necessary information needed to form said opinion.

As the mighty Harlan Ellison says, "You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion."

Two things about that are very important to this introduction. Everything here is my opinion. Nothing here is fact. Nothing is objective. It is all based on who I am and what I know. According to the above maxim, the degree of my entitlement is subject to the information I have. Therefore the amount of information I have is vital to the opinion I form. I will do my best to present both my full opinions, along with how and why I have come to those opinions. I'll most likely repeat this often, however, I'm saying it for the first time now--everything here is my opinion. Unless otherwise noted, please do not take it as anything more or anything less.

I'm going to talk mainly about movies, films, cinema, kino, pictures, whatever you want to call them. I'll talk about this, but I think that some are movies and some are films. There's a difference. I'm not going to straight up review them though. I want to consider it more of a discussion. I won't be the only one writing here, however, I hope that an actual discussion evolves within the comments section. I write to express myself, and I enjoy hearing how others respond to that and talking further. I'm going to write about new movies and old ones, but never just to tell you if it's good or not.

I had a teacher once (David Meyer, read his stuff on www.brooklynrail.org) who, after we watched a film, would have us go around the room answering what struck you? That's what I'm going to discuss. Whatever struck me about a film.

I hope you enjoy and read as consistently as I write. I encourage you to write back openly to me either in the comments section or on my email.

Keep it thorough,
Sean Glass
sglass@sdotstudios.com

P.S. Tell me if you know anything about formatting these pictures, they're giving me lots of trouble.