Party and Bullshit in the USA by Notorious B.I.G. and Miley Cyrus

I was first turned onto this by my good friend Nathandernal (Nate) Larkin-Connolly on his blog...
http://stadiums-and-shrines.blogspot.com/2009/11/mixtape-teen-age-dance-party.html



My life is now different after hearing it.  Rarely do we have an experience so fulfilling on so many levels.  The only time I listen to the radio is when I drive with dad.  We were going to a Jets game with my little brother so Z100 was on.

Miley Cyrus "Party in the USA" came on.

I never thought this could exist.  Jack White, after receiving an award from Dublin, Ireland's prestigious Trinity College, spoke about authenticity.  His quotes were taken wildly out of context later on blogs, but essentially what he said was that in some ways he considered Britney Spears more authentic than guys like Bob Dylan.  He was not criticizing Dylan in any way, but simply referring to his desire to tell stories not his own.  Britney is true to herself, only tells her own story, sings about what she knows and wants to sing about, knows her limits, knows her strengths, and owns them all.  She succeeds for those reasons.  Just to be safe, I'll make clear that Dylan succeeds because he's as much of a creative genius and student of the human condition as has existed period.

The Box

This movie was much better than I expected.  That doesn't mean I loved it, but I definitely didn't hate it (well, maybe I hated it, but I hated it less than I thought I would).  I left and asked two girls leaving who looked college age what they thought.  They both shared zero understanding of the story they had just been told.  I tried to explain it to them, focusing on the point that it's simpler than they thought, but they still didn't get it.

I doubt revealing plot elements here will ruin anyone's day, but honestly just don't read this if you care.

The movie frames itself as this big, deep puzzle, but it's rather easily summed up.  When NASA sent a ship to Mars, they brought something back.  Through a bolt of lightning the Martians possessed the would-be deceased Frank Langella character with the unnecessarily dramatic name of Arlington Steward.  Steward acts as a proxy for the Martians, who want to run tests on human beings to essentially decide if they are worthy of living--for if their living would mean eventually cohabiting Mars.  The eponymous Box marks the beginning of a series of moral tests which obviously we all fail, choosing self interest over what we know to be right.  All of this is revealed through dialogue in only a few scenes, which are few and far between, with a whole lot of why am I on the edge of my seat? in between.

Thinking Contextually in the Existential Whodunit

This is an article I wrote for The Brooklyn Rail.  They included about 1/3 of what I wanted to, so I'll post the rest of it later, but here's what they have.  You can read it on their site here: http://www.brooklynrail.org/2009/11/film/thinking-contextually-in-the-existential-whodunit

I recently wrote on Lars von Trier’s Antichrist and much of what I wondered about was the maker’s intention. Specifically, what was von Trier’s choice and what was a mistake? I loved the film and found it quite powerful, however, I am convinced that there are several instances, in the final third of the film especially, that create contradictions and were most likely mistakes, possibly due to von Trier’s alleged unstable mental state. Or perhaps they were meant to be representative of said mental state.

The International Pissed Me Off a Lot

Here is a review I wrote a while ago that I never posted anywhere so figured I might as well put it up as an example of analysis of overblown, poorly managed studio properties.


         First thoughts: this is boring.  I’ve seen it before.  Give me something new.  Honestly, this is one of those titles that I’ll cite to my little brother in 10 years when he’s a little older and learned on his films and culture.  I’ll tell him about all the derivative packaged bullshit that gets created and how it ruins all the good stuff, since why would you make something different when people still pay for the same.

            This one is on a higher level of disappointment than the average derivative action conspiracy whatever movie.  It has the big cast of course.  But then it’s directed by Tom Twyker, homeboy who at another time in his life did Run Lola Run.  It was also written by Eric Singer.  Name doesn’t ring a bell?  Yeah, I can understand that.  He co-wrote The Sky is Falling, renown in the industry as the best unproduced script ever basically.  Google that story.  So this is the first one he wrote that actually came to fruition.

Where the Dirty Hipsters Are

This I'll love anything Spike Jonze does and probably Michel Gondry too culture needs a reckoning.  I'm not even going to write about any of their work, but let me just say Gondry is really, really, really bad.  Brilliant visual imagination, but do not let him touch a keyboard ever again.  Spike's better, but still far too much form over function.  This is not rhetorical...what do they think of Spike Jonze in France?

Mariano Rivera

I'm not going to go into detail with stats and whatnot about how great he is.  I'm not going to write the opus that he deserves.  I doubt anyone really will, because he doesn't sell papers like some others do.  I do want to say that I hope somebody is planning on doing it very soon if not already.  I'd be happy to see a serious ESPN, NY Post, NY Times, etc., front page, long article about his career.  I don't personally need it though.  For a Yankee fan such as myself, Mariano Rivera is a joy that is so untouchable by all outside influences.  I don't really care what kind of attention or recognition he gets from other people.  I just know how I feel, and that is all I can tell you about.

Paranormal Activity: Encouraging?

            The big story in movies of the last few weeks and perhaps year so far is Paranormal Activity.  You know all about it, but to review, it’s this small movie from 2006 from first time filmmakers done on close to zero budget.  It takes a nod from The Blair Witch Project by going with the first person POV camera and pretending like it’s all real.  This time around they didn’t really try to convince us that this was legit, and instead just sold the idea of the truly indie underdog combined with a legitimately scary movie.

            There are probably 50 Paranormal Activity’s made a year.  I saw a few of them, one shitty one coming to mind being The Ceremony, which I saw at SXSW because I was in the mood for some delicious Alamo Drafthouse popcorn and a Guinness milkshake (wow, do I miss that place.  I really want a shake right now), and one decent, if not modestly funded Grace, directed by Emerson grad Paul Solet, which I saw at Sundance but was also at SXSW.  Grace got a release from Anchor Bay, and The Ceremony is probably on Youtube in 10-minute sequences.  Neither got any attention, even while Grace was infinitely better than Paranormal.

Joe Girardi's Napoleon Complex, Missing Joe Torre and the Most Depressing Night in My Yankee Life

I'm very upset.  Last night's Yankees game was probably my worst Yankee Stadium experience ever.  I don't mean the new Yankee Stadium, I mean any Yankee Stadium.  It was awful.

I've been going to games since birth basically.  My Dad's had season tickets since I was two I think and I know I missed one opening day along the way for a school trip or something, but that's it.  This season I went to something like 1/3 of the home games.  Until I went to college, I didn't miss a playoff game in my lifetime, and then I usually went home for games, learning my lesson when I had to watch from my dorm room as Posada and Aaron Boone beat Pedro and the Sox in 2003.  Sadly, there wasn't much to watch since then.

Now we're back.  We have the best lineup we've had in years.  The staff is nowhere near what it's been in the past, even pre-major free agent spending, but we have things lined up well with not having to use a 4th starter.  Sidenote: anyone saying our staff is so good is an idiot.  Sorry.  Burnett is inconsistent in ways that should relegate him to a number 4 starter on a Yankees squad like this.  CC's been much better than I even expected him to be, and obviously Pettitte is pitching far beyond expectations at this point in his career, but that's because he's Andy Pettitte and he steps up.  Core four.  This bullpen is crap though, as last night proved once again.  I don't understand the disappearance of Hughes and Joba, but of course the rest of the bullpen sucks.

Michael Jackson's This Is It

            I couldn’t wait on this and had to write it immediately.  I’m not even proof reading until tomorrow because I actually stayed up until 7am to finish it, but posting right now.  Expect a much shorter version later, but this has everything, including a song-by-song breakdown.  Please excuse rambling.

I was lucky enough to go to the New York premiere tonight of Michael Jackson’s This Is It.  They took up the entire Regal E-Walk theater in Times Square for this.  The security was intense and surprisingly all white guys.   The tickets were not only specially made and hand delivered, but they had this subtle imprint of “MJ” strategically placed over a black spot on it.  Security guards made sure to touch every ticket to make sure it was consistent to avoid fakes.  Why they were so crazy about a movie that is released to the public two hours after the “premiere” I cannot tell you.  And since when can white guys do security like black guys.  Nobody’s scared of the white security guys, come on.

Some Funny or Die Videos I Recommend

Rap Translated - watch more funny videos

Nick Kroll went to my summer camp, the prestigious Camp Wildwood.  He's going to be on "The League" on FX premiering soon.  Looks good.

Rich Dicks from Jon Daly

The Ed Hardy Boyz: The Case of the Missing Sick Belt Buckle from Jon Daly

Entourage Season Six Finale...Actually Not So Bad

I mean this in the least offensive and most complimentary way possible. The Entourage season six finale was just gay enough to be perfect. I've long ago dismissed this show as one of the worst ever, so I do not hold it to normal standards.

Last season was one of the worst I've ever watched of any show. Let's be real here. Even with an improved season six, the show settled into a format of seven or eight spec script standalone episodes (the shroom trip at Joshua Tree episode that all you fucking miscreants loved, I hate you), a prem and finale, then one or two actual long term plot oriented episodes (probably written by Weiss and/or Ellin themselves) sprinkled in here and there when Plepler had boxing to draw attention to.



(See the original poster, and then the New York city subway version of it)

Top 10 Rick Ducommun Roles

1. The 'Burbs (1989)- Art Weingartner

This is obvious. I heard he worked on set like Daniel Day-Lewis does, so that even between takes and when they're not shooting, he'll only answer to "Art" and he actually acted like Art all the time. Dedication. Also one of the best films ever made.

2. Spaceballs (1987)- Prison Guard

The beginning of a brilliant career, and a clear sign of all those wonderful things to come.

Whatever Works

Sadly, not this.

I think the charm of the misanthropy has finally worn off--at least on me. I saw Woody Allen's latest, Whatever Works, tonight at the Angelika. I fell asleep about a half hour in and stayed drifting off for another 20-30 minutes.

Sidenote, I see a lot of movies. I'm not ashamed to admit that I fall asleep here and there, and depending on what else I'm doing, often. For instance, somebody asked me what I thought of Cold Souls, a film I saw on the second to last day of Sundance. I don't really know what I thought of it because it was slow and I don't remember anything that happened past about the 40 minute mark. I don't fall asleep when I really love it though.

Anyway, I saw the unavoidable Woody Allen-Larry David collabo tonight and was very disappointed. It reminded me more of Anything Else and Melinda and Melinda much more than any of his early works. I had heard that this was a call back to old school Woody, but I don't think so. I guess one could argue that the whole talking to the camera post-modern thing is there from Annie Hall, in addition to the general structure of the story of a relationship bound neither by classical narrative structure nor even linear storytelling. The other similarities I can think of might go into his more satirical and slapstick work like Bananas and Love and Death, however, I really think that any similarities to those films are by accident i.e. when the acting is at its worst, really misinterpreting what the scenes should have been.

Storytelling

This is another article I wrote for KiptonART as well as Moviehatch, I've since made some minor changes.

I’ve written a few articles for KiptonArt’s website, but given that this is the first that will appear in the magazine, I feel I should introduce myself once more. I’m a 24-year-old filmmaker from New York. Well, I’d say aspiring. I believe that one should not call oneself something like “filmmaker” unless one is both making a solid living doing so, and other successful filmmakers acknowledge you as an equal, not necessarily in that order. I think I’m on my way there, but not quite ready to be on the level of those who I admire.

On the same topic, people do ask me what I do though, and I find I do not like to say I write, or direct, or produce specifically. I think of each of those tasks, and the others I perform, as all part of the creative filmmaking process.

Moon by Walker Griffy

So today I'm going to post an article written by a friend of mine, Walker Griffy. Walker's mainly going to be writing here because he's handsome, but hopefully literate as well. I met Walker originally during a screenwriting course at UCLA when we were 16 or so. It was magic. Walker's still in LA and currently working on his first novel. He's totally looking for some help from people in the publishing world, so if you're on or you know one, hit one of us up or comment. When Walker discusses my optimism in this introduction below, I think he refers to my liking Transformers, for which I'll post an article this coming week.

Surveillance

Tonight I watched Surveillance, the latest release in what we'll call the ongoing experiment of DVD, On Demand and TV simultaneous releases. In order to bypass the fees, I DVR'd the film from Mark Cuban's HDNet. I'll be honest and say that I'm not all too interested in this stuff, so I'll save that discussion for the time when I become interested in it. I will say that I like it though. Options are better. Giving us more ways to watch movies makes more people watch movies, which is very important. Giving us different price points also helps a lot, especially when there is the option for those who follow the release dates to watch it for free. I honestly don't know anyone else who does that though, rather people wait to read the reviews and order it On Demand for seven dollars.



So this entry was the first film from Jennifer Lynch (spawn of David Lynch, the dude with major fear of fatherhood issues, i.e. Eraserhead) in fifteen years. Her last was Boxing Helena, yeah the one where the weirdo puts the girl in a box and then cuts off all her limbs for the ultimate form of possession. There was a twist in that film that really didn't affect the actual narrative at all, but rather just negated it completely. It spun it in a direction that was more of a cop out than anything else. The twist allowed Lynch to not have to explain or resolve the convoluted plot she got herself into.

Casting: Names vs. Talent and Going with Your Gut

Here is an article I wrote for KiptonART. You can get those at www.kiptonart.com/magazine.

So I've been doing some casting lately. It's fun. I love talking to actors. For whatever reason, thankfully, I've managed to stick to meeting with only some classy folks. It goes without saying that I'm looking to cast based on two qualities: Who fits the role best and who's the name that will get the most eyes on my film.

This all makes me think back to sophomore year in high school. Have you ever heard somebody say that the biz is like high school? A popularity contest?






















Shane Tela was a girl (yes, a girl named Shane, straight out of a Johnny Cash song, right?) who started at my school freshman year. I went to a really snobby Upper East Side school that was bad, but not like it’s portrayed on Gossip Girl. Shaney was a half-Black, half-White downtown import. I don't remember much about Shaney (I call her Shaney, she calls me Seany, it’s really cute, trust me) from freshman year though. That year, the new girls who got all the attention were two who made close friends with popular girls right out of the gate—one presumably because she came from a pedigree of cool people, the other because her Brother was a cool senior that year (both of these girls later redeemed themselves and turned out fantastic). Shaney was pretty but nobody noticed because we were too busy gossiping over who was going to date the other two hot freshman noobs (discussions were moot, as they ended up dating older guys, a guy in a band and a jock, right away), and Shaney never made herself look nice for school. It wasn't until sophomore year that I really made friends with Shane.

Marvelous Hot Steak

For explanation of title, listen to Ghostface Killah's "Wildflower." Lyrics below. Please read "Introduction" also, the post before it.


















That was the best fuckin I ever had.
That's because you been dealin with Dasheese
You gotta leave? Where you goin sugar?
I got business to take care of
[Ghostface]: No shit.
Shit that's my old man, shit!
Ya better go talk to him

[Ghostface]
No smokin alarms [8X]

I'm mind shockin, body rockin, earth shakin, money makin
Sittin high, lookin fly, drinkin on the best wine...

[Ghostface]
Yo bitch I fucked your friend, yeah you stank hoe
I seen her on the elevator, honey grabbed my Kangol
She put me on to mega-shit, bout to slap the bitch
She shot crazy verbal, I leaned back like I'm rich
It took place late night on February 17th
Hands flooded like ink, my face on her magazine
Just got back from Honolulu, pockets stackin boucoup cash
Girlfriend sipped the Yoo-hoo and laughed, yo
While I was on tour, whore, you went to work
Quick fast, had a nigga dick in the dirt
You couldn't wait just to kidnap the bait of my sperm
Where's you at, hoe? 'Pinky house, she put in my perm'
That's all you ever said to me, thought that could hold me
Remember when I long-dicked you and broke your ovary?
You crab bitch, chickenhead hoe, eatin' heros
I'm the first nigga that had you watchin flicks by DeNiro
You gained crazy points, baby, just bein with God
Taught you how to eat the right foods, fast, and don't eat lard
I gave you earth lessons, I came to you as a blessin
You didn't do the knowledge what the God was manifestin
You sneaky fuck bitch, your ways and actions told it all
I fucked you while you was bleedin, held you down in malls
Sexually you worshipped my di-dick like a cross
I had you fiend out, broke out, for a month you fell off
You was my main shit, my peeps showed you love on the strength
You saw how I got down, the way I thought had you tranked
But you had to fuck this rasta-head ass nigga
I shoulda slapped ya but the Gods said chilllllllll
That's your wiz fault, god, handle that in the lab"
I'm wonderin how many times your hot ass got stabbed
You dumb bitch, horny hot fuck from out the mountains
Your clientele is low hoe, catch you next show, bro
I got jerked, gave away my pussy, that shit hurt
It feel like somebody died or shot your old Earth
But fuck it, I fucked you on a chair with three legs
Broken tables, had you screamin while you was bitin on my cables
Whistlin to the washing machine, I threw it on spin
If your pussy dry, spit on my dick and put it in
My dick's the bomb baby, marvelous hot steak
Plus I'm conceited Starks make the biggest so-called rape
I'm God, cipher divine love my pussy real fine
That means clean the FDS smell with a shine
Word up, respect that hoe

Introduction

Friends,
First, let me say I dig this font.

Second, let me dedicate this entire website to my favorite actor and humanitarian, Rick Ducommon. If you don't know him, stop reading and go watch The 'Burbs. Then watch Groundhog Day.

Ok, now you're back.

Hey.

How's it going?

How about that Bruce Dern?!?! Isn't he hilarious? And did you think that the Clopecks were going to be good or bad in the end? I was surprised. That's in my top 10 best movies ever by the way. If you don't dig The 'Burbs just get out of here. If you don't know who the Clopecks are, then you didn't watch the movie, and you're an asshole and I don't want you reading this. I should password protect it with some even more obscure reference to the movie.

Anyway, if you're still reading, then you must like The 'Burbs. That's awesome.

I like you.

A lot.

Well, let's get down to it. I'm Sean. As of this keystoke I'm 24 years old. I grew up in New York, moved to Boston for college, and then back to NY for good after. I like movies, I'm doing all I can to make a career out of those feelings. I find myself far too often feeling disinterested in conversations with people who don't like movies. Well actually it's not that. I don't care what you think of movies, as long as we're just talking about movies, and nothing else.

I don't want to talk about finance.

Or wars. Or who makes the best burger in Manhattan (J.G. Melon's). Or facebook and twitter.

Back to finance. I think it's really boring. I admit to having some friends who work in finance, but news guys--I probably like you less than my other friends.

I will want to talk to you more if we talk about movies, but I judge your opinions as stupid beyond the point of different tastes, then I will think less of you. I don't like when people speak of judging as a bad thing because judging is inherent to thinking and if one does not judge that just means they do not form opinions. One should only be criticized for judging when they formulate said judgment without the necessary information needed to form said opinion.

As the mighty Harlan Ellison says, "You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion."

Two things about that are very important to this introduction. Everything here is my opinion. Nothing here is fact. Nothing is objective. It is all based on who I am and what I know. According to the above maxim, the degree of my entitlement is subject to the information I have. Therefore the amount of information I have is vital to the opinion I form. I will do my best to present both my full opinions, along with how and why I have come to those opinions. I'll most likely repeat this often, however, I'm saying it for the first time now--everything here is my opinion. Unless otherwise noted, please do not take it as anything more or anything less.

I'm going to talk mainly about movies, films, cinema, kino, pictures, whatever you want to call them. I'll talk about this, but I think that some are movies and some are films. There's a difference. I'm not going to straight up review them though. I want to consider it more of a discussion. I won't be the only one writing here, however, I hope that an actual discussion evolves within the comments section. I write to express myself, and I enjoy hearing how others respond to that and talking further. I'm going to write about new movies and old ones, but never just to tell you if it's good or not.

I had a teacher once (David Meyer, read his stuff on www.brooklynrail.org) who, after we watched a film, would have us go around the room answering what struck you? That's what I'm going to discuss. Whatever struck me about a film.

I hope you enjoy and read as consistently as I write. I encourage you to write back openly to me either in the comments section or on my email.

Keep it thorough,
Sean Glass
sglass@sdotstudios.com

P.S. Tell me if you know anything about formatting these pictures, they're giving me lots of trouble.